When will I meet the one?

Three situations behind this question

Fresh out of a relationship

It has been six months since the breakup and you feel mostly recovered. You want to start again, but you notice that every new person gets measured against your ex.

Single long enough to stop expecting much

You are in your early thirties and your last relationship was at university. You tell yourself you're fine on your own, and mostly you are, but Saturday nights still feel a little empty.

Always meeting the wrong people

You have dated plenty. Each time it goes the same way: intense at first, disappointing two or three months in. You're starting to wonder whether it's bad luck or your own taste.

Turning it into a question you can draw on

The soulmate spread is built for future relationships. It looks at where you are now, what you are looking for, what the person you might meet is like, and what the two of you would need to work through. It suits questions like "what kind of person?" and "how do I get ready?", not a specific date.

Good ways to ask:

• "I want to look for a partner seriously this year. What should I change first?"
• "I keep falling for the same type. How is the right person different from them?"
• "Am I actually ready to start something new?"

A way that won't help:

• "What year will I get married?" The cards can't give you a date, and asking for one only fixes your eyes on a number instead of on what you can do.

How the cards that often show up read here

• The Empress: your own life is attractive in itself. Make it comfortable and full first, and the right person finds it easier to come close.
• The Fool: the right person may appear somewhere you'd never expect. Don't limit yourself to one type or one kind of place.
• The Lovers: meeting is only half of it; choosing comes next. The right person doesn't just make your heart race, they share your values.
• The Hermit: you may still need some time with yourself. Knowing what you want matters more than rushing to meet people.
• The Sun: you're ready. In the position for your current state, it means go out and meet people with confidence.

An example: you ask "I keep falling for the same type. How is the right person different from them?" and draw The Hermit for your current state, The Empress for the person you might meet and The Lovers for what you'd work through together. One reading: lately you've been more at home on your own; the person who suits you is someone who makes you feel looked after and your life steadier, not someone who sets your pulse racing from the first date; and the lesson between you is whether you are willing to choose someone less thrilling but steady.

One or two things to do before you keep looking

• Write down why your last three relationships ended. If two of the three reasons look alike, that is what to watch for next time.
• Meet one new person a month. It doesn't have to be a date: a class, a dinner, a club. Widening the places you meet people is more practical than waiting for fate.

If you keep tripping over the same kind of person, read Repeating the same pattern. For a longer view of how you tend to be in relationships, the "Relationships and communication" chapter of the Life Manual is a good place to start.

Frequently asked questions

Can tarot tell me exactly when I'll meet the one?

It can't give you a precise date. A soulmate spread looks at where you are now, what you're looking for, and what you and the right person might need to work through. Seeing those clearly will help you more than knowing a date.

How is the soulmate spread different from three cards?

Three cards suit something already under way, like "Where is this relationship stuck?" The soulmate spread is designed for a future partner, looking at you, them and what lies between you, so it fits better before you've met anyone.

What if the person in the reading isn't what I imagined?

That's common, and useful. It may be telling you that the type you think you want isn't the type that suits you. Your question stays saved, so you can come back and compare once you do meet someone.

Does this apply to same-sex relationships?

Yes. Everything here reads the same way for a partner of any gender.